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There once loved a man in Spain
Who always ate a candy cane
When he went to the shop
And saw only gum drops
He wanted to cry in the rain

 

nothings faster than a cheetah
in a rush its gonna beat ya
as hard as you try to make your feet fly
by the end of the race itd eat velveeta

 

There was a old woman called Petra
Who drove a ford vectra
She ran a carehome
But it was more like a warzone
Oh how she despaired

 

There once a cat named bat
who like wearing hats
he chases a mouse
that ran 'round the house
the mouse ran away and bat just sat

 

There once was a fellow named tim,
Who was never informed how to swim,
He fell off a dock,
And sunk like a rock,
And that was the end of him!

 

The was once a young lady from Leigh,
Who drank nothing but Peppermint tea,
She made my heart skip a beat
Oh the food she could eat
But without her I'm not the real me !

 

There once was a robber
He really was quite a bother
He stole from banks
And Tom Hanks
Until the day he stole from his father

 

There once was a horse named Bailey,
Who has a rider named Jamey,
Jamey rides with a whip,
and hits her on the hip,
and Bailey is very trainey.

 

When you fail to get much approbation
Or even a “friend confirmation,”
In the absence of flatterers
Or even of chatterers,
What's left then besides hibernation?

 

I knew life was tough with a beard
But its harder than I had feared
It saves all my food
Of which has been chewed
From my plate thats been cleaned and cleared

 
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